Episode 2: New Year’s Eve at the Cods’
At last, the second episode is here! This time, we will talk about what happened at the Cods’ in the last hours of 2008.
Reminder:
Things are written like this: “Ben: Blah blah blah” when characters are speaking normally.
Things are written like this: “Ben: Blah blah blah” when characters are whispering.
Things are written like this: “Ben: BLAH BLAH BLAH” when characters are shouting.
And now, let the story begin.
That evening, in the Cod household…
Ben was cooking dinner, as he did every night since Sandra came home to find him doing so in Episode 1.
Meanwhile, Melly was having trouble getting into the holiday spirit.
Sandra: “Come on Melly, smile! It’s New Year’s Eve!”
Melly: “Well maybe I would smile if I’d gotten a mobile phone for Christmas instead of this lousy MP3 player!”
Sandra: “I despair of you sometimes.”
Sandra: “I know it hasn’t been fun having Mother around for Christmas…”
“…but surely…”
“…she’s not THAT bad?”
Ben: “Dinner’s ready, everyone!”
***
Sandra: “Mmmm! This is lovely! Isn’t it, Mother?”
Grandmother Cod: “Lentils? Who made this?”
Melly: “Ben did.”
Now, if there was one thing Melly enjoyed more than complaining, it was seeing her multi-talented little brother being told off.
Grandmother Cod: “If I had wanted to eat like a prisoner, I would have gone to prison. But this, young man, is supposed to be a New Year’s Eve dinner. What on Earth possessed you to cook lentils?”
Ben: “Sorry, Grandmother Cod.
Melly: “Bye.”
Her five-minute attention span had struck again.
As she went to her room, she picked up the phone and typed in her best friend’s number.
… : “Hi Melly!”
Melly: “Hi Tallulah. You won’t believe what happened at Christmas. You know how I told you I was like, FINALLY getting a mobile phone? Well turns out I got an MP3 player instead!”
Tallulah: “Oh darling, that’s like, SO unfair!”
Melly: “Like, OMG, I know! And you know the worst part? My Grandmother from Hell was there and she kept ruining everything! Anyway, how was your Christmas?”
Tallulah: “Well, I woke up and my parents were bringing me breakfast in bed. So I ate it and then I said, can I have my presents now? And they said come downstairs and blah blah blah blah and it was like, the best present EVER and I was going to make a start on the 27 others when…”
Tallulah: “…my mother came in with five more and she said she’d forgotten to put them under the tree! And then blah blah blah blah and Christmas Dinner was SO delicious because it was all my favorite foods and blah blah blah and then my boyfriend came round with a present and it turned out to be the cutest little necklace ever and-”
Melly: “Shut up!”
Tallulah: “Yes Melly.”
Melly: “Argh! She’s so STUPID!”
Meanwhile, in the kitchen…
Ben: “I’m going to walk Cookie!”
Ben: “See you later!”
Sandra: “Okay Ben!”
Grandmother Cod: “Is that how you do the washing up, Sandra? It makes no sense at all. Get out of the way, I shall do it.”
Sandra: “Oh! Thank you Mother!”
Sandra dried her hands.
Grandmother Cod: “Oh, thank you Mother… Not even trying to help, the ungrateful child… She has always been like this…“
Sandra: “Would you like some help, Mother?”
Grandmother Cod: “Are you insinuating that I am too old to do the washing up?”
Sandra: “N..No, of c-”
Grandmother Cod: “Go away, you are taking up all the space.”
Melly was reading a magazine in her room.
Sandra: “Hi Melly dear!”
Melly: “Didn’t you see the sign? It says No Parents Allowed!”
Sandra: “But I came to tell you your favorite film is on!”
Melly: “You mean Middle School Musical?”
Sandra: “Yes! Come on, you’ll miss the beginning!”
In the living room…
Grandmother Cod: “What a ridiculous film! They were much better in my day.”
Melly: “Oh no, I missed the beginning!”
Melly: “Like, OMG, I love this film!”
Ben: “I’m back!”
Ben: “Okay, okay, calm down Cookie! I’m letting you go!”
Grandmother Cod: “Aaah! Get off me!”
CRASH!
Sandra: “What was that?”
Sandra: “MOTHER! Oh no!”
Melly: “Oooh ooh ooh ooh oooooooooh…”
Sandra: “Hello, I need a doctor, quick! … What do you mean, no one’s free? … Yes, I know it’s New Year’s Eve but… Well send them here! … I don’t care what they’re like as long as they’re medically trained! … Oh, do whatever you like, but HURRY UP! My mother’s on the floor!”
***
*Ding dong*
Sandra: “Finally!”
The doctor: “Good Evening. I am le Docteur Chapeau!”
Sandra: “Hello doctor Chapeau, I’m Mrs Cod… I’ve called you for my mother, she’s in there… She fell.”
Doctor Chapeau: Ah, tombée! I know it well. Le Docteur Chapeau tombe très souvent, you know?”
Grandmother Cod: “Aaah… My foot…”
Doctor Chapeau: “Ah… You are la maman Cod? You have a lovely chapeau! Now, voyons ce foot…”
Grandmother Cod: “DO NOT TOUCH ME!!!”
Doctor Chapeau: “AAAAH! What is this? Madame Cod, vous vivez avec le diable!”
Sandra: “Mother! Don’t worry, Doctor Chapeau is here to help!”
Grandmother Cod: “You know what I always say! Never trust doctors, dogs…”
Sandra: “…or the French. I know. But- Hey, where is Doctor Chapeau?”
Doctor Chapeau: “That house is maudite! Le diable! Le DIABLE!”
Sandra: “Come back, doctor Chapeau! You forgot your hat!”
Ben: “Oh, this is all my fault… If only I’d waited for Cookie to calm down before taking her lead off… Now Grandmother Cod is hurt…”
Ben: “I’m going to see her and say sorry, okay?”
Melly: “Yeah, whatever.”
Meanwhile, in the living room…
Grandmother Cod: “Hahaha! Alone at last! Now you are mine, my dear!”
Grandmother Cod: “And that stupid dog is locked up, as it should be…”
Grandmother Cod: “Heeheeheehee… HEEheeheeheeh-”
Grandmother Cod: “BEN!!! Uh… OH LOOK, my foot is better!”
Sandra: “How could you, Mother?”
Melly: “Hey everyone, the New Year program is starting on TV!”
Ben: “Great! I love the New Year program!”
Sandra: “Yes! Come on everyone!”
Grandmother Cod decided it would be wise not to say anything at this point.
***
Melly: “It’s midnight!”
Melly: “Happy New Year, everyone!”
Ben: “Hmmm? What?”
Ben: “Oh… Happy New Year…”
Sandra: “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!”
Grandmother Cod: “Hmph! Happy New Year indeed…”
***
And that’s THE END of Episode 2! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
CREDITS (in order of appearance):
Ben Cod: Silkydog
Melly Cod: Silkydog
Sandra Cod: Silkydog
Grandmother Cod: Silkydog
Cookie: Silky
GUEST STARS:
Tallulah: Fionnuala
Doctor Chapeau: Etteniotna
A
PRODUCTION
Episode 1: An Unexpected Arrival
Episode 1: An Unexpected arrival
Things are written like this: ‘Ben: “Blah blah blah…” ‘ when the characters are talking normally.
Things are written like this: ‘Ben: “Blah blah blah…” ‘ when the characters are whispering.
Things are written like this: ‘Ben: “BLAH BLAH BLAH!” ‘ when the characters are shouting.
One evening, at the Cods’ house…
Sandra’s offspring are doing their homework while they wait for her to come home, in about an hour.
Poor Ben has lots of work…
And so does Melly.
“Ding dong!”
Ben: “I’ll get it. Anything to get away from maths…”
And so Ben goes to open the door…
Ben: “Hello?…”
Grandmother Cod: “Well? Are you going to invite me in or just stand there all night? It’s cold out here, you know!”
Ben: “Sorry. Come in, Grandmother Cod.”
Melly: “Grandmother Cod? Oh no!“
Grandmother Cod: “I see your mother still has incredibly poor taste.”
Grandmother Cod: “Where is she?”
Melly: “Work.”
Grandmother Cod: ” ‘Work’ is not a sentence, Melissa. It is a word. The correct way to respond is ‘She is at work.’ “
Melly (moodily): “She is at work.”
Grandmother Cod: “AH! What is this… CREATURE doing in the house?”
Ben: “We don’t have a garden.”
Grandmother Cod: “In that case, put it in the street. Hopefully, it will run away and get hit by a car.”
Grandmother Cod: ” Since no one invited me to take a seat, I might as well take that initiative myself if I don’t want to stand in the kitchen for the rest of eternity.”
Melly started writing something.
She held up her sign and pointed at something.
Ben looked down to see what she was pointing at.
Uh-oh…
***
Grandmother Cod: “I hate these TV programs… They were so much better in my day…”
Sandra: “Hi children! I’m back!”
Sandra: “Melly? Why aren’t you pestering me for a mobile phone?”
Melly shrugged.
Sandra: “Ben? I didn’t know you could cook!”
Ben shrugged.
Sandra: “Cookie? How come you’re not jumping around like a mad spring?”
Cookie yawned.
Sandra: “You all look completely worn out!”
Sandra: “Honestly, sometimes I really wonder what they do to you in that school!”
Sandra: “Anyway, never mind. I have an amazing story to tell you about work! I was showing a home to a middle-aged couple and… blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…”
Melly: “Uh… Mum?”
Sandra: “…and she said…. blah blah blah blah… and I just couldn’t believe that blah blah blah blah blah…”
Ben: “Mum?…”
Sandra: “…so I said… blah blah blah blah blah… but then they… blah blah blah blah…. so I showed them the kitchen and… blah blah blah blah…”
Grandmother Cod: “Ah, Sandra. I thought I recognized that disgraceful voice.”
Sandra: “Mother! What are you doing here?”
Sandra practically ran to the stairs.
Sandra: “Come with me, children! We need to talk!”
Ben started going up the stairs.
Followed by Melly.
At the top of the stairs…
Sandra: “Why didn’t you tell me she was there?”
Melly: “Now this is the sort of thing that wouldn’t happen if I had a mobile phone!”
Ben: “More importantly, where is she going to sleep? We don’t have a spare room and she’ll never be happy with the sofa!”
Sandra: “Well she’s not sleeping in my room! I have to get up early in the mornings!”
Melly & Ben: “So do we!”
Sandra: “You two decide between yourselves. I’m going down to check up on her.”
Melly: “So where IS she going to sleep?”
Ben: “I think she should sleep in your room.”
Melly: “WHAT??? She is NOT sleeping in my room! I need my beauty sleep!”
Ben: “But she can’t sleep in MY room!”
“It’s way too messy!”
Ben thought for a moment.
Ben: “Okay, I’ve thought and thought and I’ve come to the conclusion that if we go on like this, we’ll just argue forever. We need a noble, warrior-like way to determine who lends their lair to the Fearsome Beast.”
Melly: “Oh! You mean Scissors Paper Stone?”
Ben: “Yeah.”
Ben: “Paper!”
Melly: “Scissors!”
Melly: “Ha! I win! Good luck tidying your room, Ben!”
Ben: “Oh NO!”
There! The End of the first episode. Hope you liked it, and see you next time!
CREDITS:
Sandra Cod: Silkydog
Melly Cod: Silkydog
Ben Cod: Silkydog
Grandmother Cod: Silkydog
Cookie: Silky
Coming up…
A story is coming up! It’s going to be called The Cod Family.
Here are some pictures and descriptions of the characters.
Sandra, the mother
She’s a successful woman and has two children.
Likes: Clean surfaces, interior design shows, getting her makeup to look perfect
Dislikes: Scruffy people, insects, public transport
Marital Status: Divorced
Occupation: Estate Agent
Most likely to say: “Wash your hands, children!”
Melissa (Melly), the eldest
A 14 year-old who’s desperate to be popular. Prefers to be known as Melly.
Likes: Lipgloss, parties, talking to popular people
Dislikes: Breaking a nail, being called Melissa, being told to take care of her brother
Marital Status: Single
Occupation: Schoolgirl
Most likely to say: “Mum, I want a mobile phone!”
Ben, the youngest
10 year-old Ben claims to be “the only sane person in this family”.
Likes: Computers, walking the dog, watching quiz shows
Dislikes: Adults patting him on the head, his sister’s shampoo, eating meat
Marital Status: Single
Occupation: Schoolboy
Most likely to say: “Meat is murder.”
Sandra's mum, better known as Grandmother Cod
The Cod family fear her visits.
Likes: Criticizing things, grammar, cats
Dislikes: Children, dogs, people with bad grammar
Marital Status: Divorced
Occupation: Retired English Teacher
Most likely to stay: “Oh, I see you still have that vile creature.”
Cookie the dog
She loves everyone, except maybe Grandmother Cod.
Likes: Food, walkies, cuddles
Dislikes: Baths, cats, being called a “vile creature” by Grandmother Cod
Marital Status: Cookie isn’t really interested in other dogs.
Occupation: Pet
Most likely to say: “Woof!”
That’s it! Coming soon to a computer screen near you!
CREDITS
SANDRA COD: Silkydog
MELISSA COD: Silkydog
BEN COD: Silkydog
GRANDMOTHER COD: Silkydog
COOKIE: Silky
